im really here...

id gotten off the train with the most stupid size backpack youve ever seen only to find they werent there to meet me, so off i bumbled like a tortoise in search of 'los servicios' 10 mins later i was grouchy as you like, not only was i bursting - and going to punch the next person who gave me false hope of finding the loo's, but i was going to fall backwards into a further undignified heap from my backpack.

just at breaking point two women came and asked me if i was vicky marr id no sooner said yes as dumped my stuff at their feet and legged it to the facilities, they either going to think im rude or wierd but past caring (and not too far from the truth) i did one.

we pulled upto the base, a large brick block like a counsel estate but nicer stood over a park a contorted myself and bags along with one of the staff into those tiny spanish lifts, that tiny but nice lift that assists one to the fourth floor i later read was only to be used when absolutely necassary to avoid breakdown! it is prefered one takes the enjoyable excerise option!

sharing a room with only a canadian was an upgrade to my expectation of either a 20 person dorm or a 'sister act' like cell. but not too far from life at a convent breakfast is at 7.45 followed by an hour of devotional time 9.30 - 11.30 class or prayers and then a quick pig out break stop before 12-1.30 (although if theyre passionate youve had it -2) class. lunch is followed by work duties with an hour before class or prayers resume, more classes follow dinner. the bit im looking forward to the most is of course communal exercise like football and dance....did you catch the sarcasm?

but im here for a reason, and its everything i applied for, everything i worroed about and im sure going to be amazing in a strange way. guess i was a little naive in the last month, to think that a good drink and soothing cigerette was a better plan to sooth anxious thoughts than turning to god. that not reading the bible wouldnt make any difference if youd read it a while your relationship with god and past reading woud sustain you when its tough. its only just hit me where i really am, that cloud of elation and joy coming back from australia on fire for god, was then. not now.

no running eh ;)