on a mission....as a missionary.

In the last 24 hours i think i had gone through every emotion in the book, last night being a celebration of Rebeccas birthday and a general party together, it had been along time since i had found it so difficult to stay in a room full of people, i just couldnt settle and as the night wore on it was more and more uncomfortable. I knew i wouldnt be seeing some of these guys for a month especially my closest friend hannah, luckily my roomate christina was coming to india and by now I was comfortable with everyone else. there were so many things running round my head, all i wanted to do was leave get a drink and a cigerette, the night before missions vic sort your head out! i didnt go to a bar, or touch a ciggerette.

I hate goodbyes, this morning i stood there with a coffee in hand and said see you later to half the team, they were going to Bilbao in north spain for a week before heading out to morocco, they would be back two days after us too, like the place wasnt eerie enough today without them.
After lunch I headed into the park, beyond topping up my tan this was the last bit of alone time i would see for a month, short of getting up at 5am and going on the roof terrece I hear they have (not an impossible feat) I would be with a minimum of two other people for the next 30 days, coupled with the fact we had been advised sarcasm wasnt accepted or rather understood this would be a stretching of my personality to say the least. Still as I sorted clothes in the basement I thought back to indonesia and the kids there, once you had met them you would have thrown everything out of your backpack to make more room for stuff for them. It was time to forget about the alone time and focus on the month ahead, taking my quiet time in the morning would be imperative, without spending time with god it would be easy to forget why you were doing all this, what it was you were sharing and why you were going to sleep on a floor with 10 other people.

The last weeks teaching had motivated us to think about our testimonies, what had brought you to god? the changes a relationship with god had made. I had been on the road so many times before but this would be different in everyway. I was nervous and excited at the same time dying to get back to something that makes my blood race, travel, adventure, doing something proactive to help people, only difference was this time I would be going as a christian, not that I hadnt travelled before but I was actually going as a christian. I wanted god to use me. I had been focussed on the relief work when applying, it was easier to talk to people about for one thing, and cold evangelism was scary and had never appealed, how i ended up at mission school i dont know but last week something impacted me, the importance of people knowing christ.