testimony and ministry

Friday night we had done a slot at the YWAM service, i got up and told my testimony i figured i should do it sometime, i was still terrified as i stood there, of course you sit down after a think of a million things you should have said or included, but hey. we performed a dance which these days i can at elast grin through although im not sure i will ever stop cringing at. we sang a couple of worship songs and sods law says you get stuck at the front in the spot light when you dont know the words to half of it (cut me some slack its in spanish) as i ginned like an idiot and debaited making up the words or doing nothing they dimmed the spotlight on me, (much to my amusement) but i was on stage or up front of something nearly everyday now, and everyday it was something bigger and scarier than the day before.

Sunday dressed in best (and hottest) punjabies we went to the church of victor and manjula a couple whose kids we had entertained and taught for the first few days of my trip. we bumped down this mud road past the slumbs to a field with yaks, kids playing with tyres adn women in saris stood at a distance, everywhere looked like a national geographic cover shot.

Inside everyone sat on the floor, women to the right men to the left, the indians seemed to be big on learning by repeating whether prayers or songs they always seemed to repeat the leader.
We were doing the whole service so we played some worship songs, it has taken me the last 5 years to leearn how to worship god properly, to ignore a room ful of people andpraise god for being god, to focus on him properly and be unafraid to show emotion reaction or show nothing but pray silently or talk to god honestly about where your at, it was a challenging subject that god was always leading me on. But now i was at the front of a church and i had to worship with a load of people looking at me while i did it! i didnt want it to be a performance, we wanted to worship god!

My friends tanis and chris got up, one gave their testimony of how she became a christian the other preached, i was amazing by their courage. for me the test came at the end. Ministry still freiks me out, going out into a crowd of people to pray for them often without speaking the same language of having a translater, relying on god to guide you what to pray. I prayed for numerous women, terrified i walked between them trying not to step on someone foot, or sari or head, more terrified about praying for people. But half way through praying for this woman she was crying, the pastors wife came over and started to pray with me, all i know is that the holy spirit touched her, it was nothing to do with me.